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Stop Your Divorce and Save Your Marriage

Many unhappy couples think that getting a divorce and ending their marriage would make them happier. However, chances are they are only trying to take the easy way out by escaping from their current marital problems.

There are many reasons why a marriage can fail, but there are even more ways how to make it work again.

  1. Recognize your faults. Some couples tend to see their partner’s mistakes, but overlook their own. By failing to accept their own frailties, they often have unrealistic expectations and make unreasonable demands from each other. Admitting your own errors might make your more vulnerable, but it also indicates that you are ready to make your marriage work.
  2. Remember that you are two different individuals.  Individual differences can affect how couples view their marital problems. It will help to remember that both you and your partner were once single and that your marriage ideas and expectations were formed by distinctly different upbringing and social environments. Learning more about each other’s history will improve your understanding of expectations for marriage.
  3. It takes two to tango. It will be healthier and more productive if both of you desire to prevent the divorce and make your marriage work.
  4. Spend time with each other. You can’t regain each other’s trust and love if you don’t communicate and spend quality time together. It may take a while especially if you haven’t been together for some time, but remember that constant togetherness fosters love.
  5. Listen. Failed marriages are victims of lack of communication. Listening to and respecting your partner’s thoughts and opinions are keys to a healthy relationship.
  6. Physical contact. Action leads to result. The lack of physical connection with your partner may have been the cause of the impending divorce. It does not mean immediate renewal of the sexual relationship, which may cause discomfort especially if you haven’t been sleeping in the same bed for a while. Small gestures like an encouraging touch on the back, a comforting touch to the arm, holding hands, can rekindle old feelings and rebuild a strong connection.
  7. Appreciate the small stuff. A couple opting for divorce may have felt that they have been neglected and unappreciated. Some small yet important things may have been neglected during the course of the marriage.   Make sure to be appreciative of affectionate attempts by your partner to reconnect with you.
  8. Economic partnership. Many failed marriages are due to the lack of financial stability. If you are both working and have similar incomes, split monthly dues and utilities, discuss how to allocate finances, and be transparent about financial transactions.
  9. Give each other some quality time alone. A woman needs to meet her girlfriends, sisters, or relatives occasionally. The same goes for men who will need night outs with friends and colleagues. Good friendships contribute to a good marriage.
  10. Build your friendship. Your love for each other may falter, but your friendship will last forever. Starting out as friends after separating for a while will renew the respect and trust that you once have for each other. Friendship between married couples results in honest and open communication, which are positive signs of growth and maturity.

Before choosing to divorce, try these suggestions and strive to work things out with your partner. Although it is best if you work together to save the marriage, your committed efforts to save the marriage will go a long way towards persuading your spouse to rethink the divorce and perhaps make a fresh start.