Who‘s a Cheater
Statistically speaking about 60% percent of men will engage in an extramarital affair at some point during their marriage. If you couple that with the fact that 40% of women engage in infidelity at some point in marriages, the chances of being in a marriage without at least one occasion of infidelity seem to be getting more challenging by the day.
What causes spouses to cheat?
- Ego and opportunity
- A sense of entitlement
- Financial pressures
- Looking for excitement that is missing in the marriage
- An exit strategy from the marriage
- Feeling the need to feel young again
- Thrill of the chase
- Feeling neglected
Although anyone can use any of the excuses listed above as a reason for their infidelity, truth be told, engaging in an extramarital affair is a very selfish far reaching decision. When a cheating spouse decides to engage in infidelity they are overlooking the pain and long term damage that their decision could cause their spouse and or their children. Cheating on a spouse is band aid for a much deeper rooted problem that will eventually come to light anyway.
What are the signs that my spouse is cheating?
- An immediate need for privacy
- If your spouse says “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”
- If you here “we are just friends” referring to a person of the opposite gender
- Work habits become suddenly and increasingly irregular
- Unexplained increased time on the computer
- Pass codes and erased information from your spouse’s cell phone
- Sudden behavioral changes
- New found interest in the spouse’s body image and overall looks
I caught my spouse cheating now what?
The decisions that are made post affair can be very difficult. One of the most important things to remember is not to make a decision that can last a lifetime before you get your emotions under control. Everyone handles these situations differently, but universally the most immediate feeling will usually be anger. When you calm down and get over the initial shock of the affair you need to decide if you are open minded to speaking to your significant other about moving forward or if their actions have made mending the marriage impossible.
If you decide to speak to the cheating spouse with the hope of working things out, the first step will require the cheating spouse to be totally honest and willing to answer all of your questions surrounding the affair. Once that process is completed it is imperative to make sure that the affair is over and furthermore that there is no communication under any circumstance between your cheating spouse and the other party who participated in the infidelity. Studies around the world universally agree that the chances are slim to none of repairing a marriage if the cheating spouse is still communicating with the outside party that they engaged in the affair with.
Moving forward will be difficult, and both parties in the marriage will have to work harder than ever at rebuilding the marriage, but the majority of marriages make it through an extramarital affair. The cheating spouse will have to be patient as you rebuild trust and willing to answer all your questions, and be accountable for their actions. If the spouse that engaged in the extramarital affair isn’t willing to give you detailed information about their schedule, whereabouts, and or anything else that is necessary for you to be comfortable and start to rebuild trust , you might want to take a closer look at your decision to move forward with the marriage post affair.