Who‘s a Cheater
Is my wife cheating on me?That’s the question that men across the U.S are continually asking themselves. The truth is, over 50% of married women cheat on their husband at some point in their marriage. Interestingly enough, recent studies reveal that women are also much less likely to be caught cheating. One recent study involving approximately 3,000 women indicates that over 95% of women claim to have participated in infidelity without being caught by their spouse. Dr. Holmes said “women are better liars because they are more psychologically motivated and much better at keeping their affairs a secret.”
Why Do Women Cheat on their Spouses?
- Mindset some women believe they can acquire happiness through an external source and that causes them to chase a created fantasy in hopes of achieving happiness.
- The guilt factor- some women lose sexual attraction to their husband, which in turn causes them to feel guilty and experience beliefs that the relationship is dead. Once those feelings enter the relationship it is mentally, much easier for a women to seek out extra marital affairs
- Lack of Knowledge and Maturity- In some relationships women don’t have the tools to deal with the problems that come along with marriage and day to day life. This can lead to a communication breakdown, which usually results in less intimacy, and finally ends with the woman feeling that she is not loved anymore. Once a woman doesn’t feel loved she could potentially seek to replace that feeling via an extramarital affair.
- The Passion Died- women want to feel wanted and furthermore they want to feel as if their spouse is attracted to them. If a woman isn’t feeling that her husband is attracted to her, more times than not she will seek out an affair to replace her need to feel wanted.
I caught my wife cheating now what?
- The first and most important step for a woman to take after being exposed is to take responsibility for the affair and not blame her spouses’ actions as the cause of the affair. Remember reasons such as inattentiveness, lack of a connection, or any other reason does not make cheating ok.
- The second step is for the affair to end. Once a person has romantic involvement through an extramarital affair, a partial disengage is not healthy or possible. For the marriage to survive there should be no further communication between the cheating spouse and the other party that was involved in the infidelity.
- The third step is to get to the root of the problem that caused the infidelity. To prevent infidelity from happening in the future, the cheating wife needs to be totally honesty and both parties need to have realistic future expectations.
- The last step to repairing the relationship and moving on is to slowly rebuild trust. The cheating wife will need to be patient when asked detailed questions from the husband about schedules, whereabouts, and so on.
In the days, months, and years’ post an extramarital affair it is crucial that the spouse that was cheated on doesn’t bring up the affair as a way to win arguments or gain leverage. Anytime the affair is brought up it is equivalent to reopening a flesh wound that is still healing. Furthermore it is nearly impossible for the relationship to work if the affair is continually brought up. Although it is a little harder for men to deal with affairs because of ego’s and “the not thinking it could happen to them mindset” it does frequently happen. Studies reveal that 78% of marriages survive an affair and the relationship is saved. Remember alot of couples rebuild a marriage that becomes stronger than ever post affair.
Also keep in mind that it is very important to keep realistic expectations and to also keep an open line of communication. As for the time it will take for the spouse that was cheated on to “get over it” that will greatly differ depending on the type of affair and the persons individualized emotions.