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Get Your Ex Back with the Scientific Method

She doesn’t want to see you anymore. She no longer wants anything to do with you.  She wants you out of her life.  That’s what she wants, but what about you? You agreed to the breakup simply because you did not know what to say and how to convince her to stay together.  After several hours, you realize that you do not want to break up with her and would do anything to get your ex back. But how do you accomplish that?

Immediately after the break-up

Stay calm. Do not give in to anger. Anger can banish reason even in the most practical man. With anger swelling up inside you, you may do drastic things that you will probably regret. Wait for your emotions to settle down before actually thinking of ways how to get your ex back.

Do not try to contact her. Until you know exactly what to do and how to execute your plan to get your ex back, you should not communicate with her.

The plan

A plan needs a systematic approach. What approach is better than using the four elements of the scientific method?

Characterization. This is where you start asking questions like what went wrong, when did it start going wrong and why.  Try to answer the questions by gathering information. Think back on the relationship and try to find the answers there.  If you find yourself distracted by happy memories or your current pain, make a questionnaire and jot down possible answers for each question.  This is no time to justify yourself so be honest in answering the questions.

Hypothesize. Once you identify the possible causes of the break-up, list down propositions on how to make things right and get your ex back. If she broke up with you because of another girl, don’t just write down that you are not going to look at another woman again. Instead, find ways how to assure her that you don’t want another woman in your life besides her. Your solutions must be more action-oriented rather than just expressions of remorse.

Prediction. Predict the result of your hypothesis by listing the worst-case and best-case scenarios. This is also an elimination process where you decide what best to do in a situation. It may include how to act when you meet her unexpectedly. Will you greet her? What will you do if she ignores you? If she greets you back? It may be hard to keep your emotions in check when you’re actually out there, but planning your responses in advance will give you a better chance as responding according to plan.

Experimentation. This is when you test your solutions. The moment you’ve been waiting and planning for. Knowing where things went wrong and bringing some practical and reasonable solutions on the table can help you get your ex back. There may be times that you can’t control the circumstances and things don’t go the way you wanted it to be. So make sure that you keep a clear mind and quick wits in case you needed to switch to plan B.

Above all. Be calm.  Becoming emotional will certainly not help you with your goal.  Instead, analyze the situation, make objective hypotheses and predictions and validate those.  Choose to be objective and scientific and get your ex back.