You desperately want to get your ex back. So you call him endlessly and leave emotional voice messages on his machine when he won’t pick up the phone. You write pleading, whining emails detailing your desperate need for him. You drive by his apartment in the wee hours of the morning and try to see through the curtains and the walls. You’ve asked his mother, sister, aunt and minister for help.
It might be doubtful that you are going to be very successful in your quest to get your ex back. You see, desperation is not a very popular strategy to win your ex boyfriend back. Very few men really want to get back with an overly emotional ex. So it’s time to rethink your strategy.
How about, instead of trying to get your ex back with emotional pleas, you work at getting him to want you again? Would that be too hard? I think not. After all, he did want you in the beginning. That’s why you got together in the first place. So the first thing you got to do is remember what he liked about you in the first place. Then become that person again – beautiful, smart, independent, maybe even a bit mysterious.
Of course if there was a real reason behind the breakup, you will need to address that. You need to talk to your ex about what happened to your relationship. If there is anything you need to apologize for, do so. However, try not to be overly emotional when you do it. Make sure you come out as sincere, but in control of your emotions. He will respect you for it and possibly be more open to seeing you again.
After you get the apology out of the way, claim your old self back. Work out, get interested in something other than the break up, start a new hobby, do everything but obsess about him. In fact, stay away from him, make yourself inaccessible. For all you know, all he needs is a bit of space and some time to start missing you. Perhaps after a while he will even start to miss your endless calls and rethink your breakup.
So instead of pursuing him yourself, get him to pursue you. That’s how you got him in the first place and that is exactly how you will get your ex back, by staying away.