My friend Bob goes to the gym all the time. He got to know a girl there, and, after a few weeks of bantering back and forth, asked her on a date. She said yes. When he went to pick her up, he wore track pants and a t-shirt, thinking that, as they always saw each other in workout clothes, he could wear what felt most comfortable. Instead, she met him at the door wearing black slacks and a low-cut blouse. It was an uncomfortable evening ... and she avoided him at the gym ever since.
It doesn't matter if you've seen a woman a hundred times before. On your first date, appearances matter. The effort you put into your appearance tells a woman how much effort you are willing to put into wooing her. What she perceives of you in the first few minutes of your encounter could make the difference between a second date and a miserable evening.
Most guys know the basics: shower, shave, get rid of that unibrow, eliminate any nose hairs, never forget deodorant, and invest in a nice cologne (that you NEVER apply excessively--you don't want to assault her nose, so less is more). Get your hair cut regularly and invest in a more expensive style if you can. Hair that flops in your face can completely change your appearance ... and not necessarily in a good way.
What most guys don't know is that what they wear tells a girl a lot about the effort they're willing to make for her. If a guy shows up in blue jeans and a t-shirt, it means that he could care less what she thinks. If he invests in a stylish shirt and hundred-dollar jeans, she WILL notice. Women have a keen fashion sense, and they can tell when a guy has invested money on what he wears.
I'm not telling you to blow the bank on a dozen killer outfits. What I am telling you is to blow a few hundred on ONE killer outfit--because one outfit can be all it takes. Women can be harsh critics on the first date, but once she decides she likes what she sees, she'll be much more willing to accept 501s on the second date.
NEVER buy clothes that aren't you, however. Think about your normal style. Maybe you prefer khakis and button-up shirts; maybe all your clothes are by Nike. Now, ratchet up the style factor a notch. Browse the high-end shops for stylish duds; take a female friend whose advice you value. Wear the outfit at least once before you try it on a first date to make sure that you can pull it off.
Be careful that you don't invest in clothes that are so stylish that they're quickly outdated or turn your date off. You don't want to scare her ... and you want to be able to wear this a few times. Classic lines with a stylish cut are the best. And don't forget the shoes to impress!
Now, act the part. You look like a million bucks. BELIEVE that you're a movie star ... with the ego of an average, lovable Joe. Stand up straight, look her in the eye, and let your charm flatter her into date number two. If you are enjoying yourself and having a good time, she will, too! But if you are nervous and lack self-confidence, she'll become more shy and hard to tease out.
In a survey about the attributes that are most attractive and unattractive in a potential partner, several hundred single men and women compiled the following list.
What Makes a Good First Impression:
warmth, sense of humor, imagination, confidence, success, fitness, individuality, body language, conversational ability, aspiration, power, creativity, kindness
What Makes a Poor First Impression:
self-centered, closed minded and judgmental, lack of manners, poor conversational ability, negative life attitude, lack of education, immature, indecisive, no opinions, lack of integrity, war stories from past relationships, complaining, shallowness, only interested in sex, power games, manipulation, materialistic
You can never know exactly what a woman will like, want, or need when you first meet her, but you can make a good first impression. If you leave her with a positive image of you, you can almost guarantee that you will hear from her again. Just remember that she already agreed to have a first date with you. She wants to like you and find a happy and confidant partner with whom to share her life. If you make her feel good when she is with you, you will see good results.
The idea is to show your personality right from the first date. Take her out for a night like no other and show your personality from the word "go." Dinner and a movie, one of the classic first dates, is also one of the most boring and can be an easy way to end a relationship before it's even begun.
So what is the perfect date? A perfect date should show your personality and not lead to awkward silences. Activity-based dates are great if you don't really know your date all that well. You will find out a lot about the other person without the discomfort and expectations of traditional first dates. Try go-carting or miniature golfing or any fun activity that will quickly build a rapport between you and your date and make you feel comfortable together.
Unique, personal dates will guarantee higher dating success. Both you and your date will have a more comfortable, enjoyable time, and she'll be so impressed that she'll want to see what you'll think up for the next date and beyond!
If you're absolutely stuck for ideas, I have found a great guide for a lifetime of dating ideas. "300 Creative Dates" compiles 300 great ideas for romantic, traditional, original and fun dates. The author of "300 Creative Dates," Michael Webb, has even appeared on Oprah to talk about his great ideas and success rate. He has compiled general dating ideas as well as dates for long-distance relationships, anniversaries, dates to compliment the season, and much more.
Not only does Michael Webb really know about the dating side of things, but he also offers some great techniques to asking woman out--whether you are good friends or have never met before. In fact, "300 Creative Dates" has given me piles of ideas, because it offers creative, fun, and enticing dates for everyone, from blind dates to first dates to even dates with your wife! Following a guide like this beats spontaneity hands-down, because nothing appeals more to women than a guy who takes the time to organize a romantic, fun, original date ... rather than the uninspired and quickly-forgotten movie and dinner date with a side dish of awkward silence.
So remember ... plan your dates, first impressions matter, and don't forget that how you approach that crucial first date may be the difference between meeting the woman of your dreams or sitting at home by yourself on a Saturday night.
Best of luck with making your first impression! Men who make an effort are the biggest turn-on for women, so look the part and show her your personality on your first date. You'll show her you are worth her time and find her saying "yes" almost before you've opened your mouth to ask her on that next date.
All the best,