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Is my spouse cheating?

Don't Guess.

Who‘s a Cheater

Playing Cheating Games in the Game of Love

Cheating games in the context of relationships sound incredibly wrong. But those who think that love is only a game say that there is no real difference between a game and a relationship. In any game you have players, rules, and the playing field. Your players are usually the ones who are most devoted and faithful you will ever find giving time, effort and energy for their passion, art and love: the game.

You can find all that in a relationship.  First, you have your playing field, the context, the community, your social circle.  Second you have devoted players. Third, you also have rules, just like in any game. In a relationship though, you’re supposed to have partners and not just players. Partners devoted to helping each other both win in the relationship game.  Partners committed to each other and the relationship not just to the game.

Unfortunately, just like in games, there are players who only care to win. These are your players who have no respect for the game and for its rules.  They will do whatever is necessary and play cheating games to get what they want.  For them cheating is simply part of the game. Winning might be the only thing they aim for regardless of the moral or ethical issues.

The thing is, cheating games are just wrong.  Even in sports, cheating is still against the rules and against all sense of fair play.  This is also true in relationships. Despite the fact that we accept that there are players in the game of love.  We still mostly expect those who go into relationships to make a true commitment, play fair and stay faithful. Playing against the rules and playing cheating games in relationships are not just wrong but hurtful, not just unfair but practically immoral. In marriage, cheating games are even illegal.  You can in fact, go to jail for adultery.  At the very least, it can be grounds for dissolving the relationship.

Are cheating games ever right?  Never.  At least not in a conventional relationship.  The only context where it might probably be acceptable is if both parties in the relationship are both players, with both partners just in it for the pleasure of playing the game.  Playing cheating games in a relationship puts both parties in jeopardy and creates a rift in the relationship.  It is important for a couple to reevaluate their reasons why they are in a relationship.