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Saving Your Relationship than Surviving Infidelity

Infidelity is the number one cause of depression and anxiety as it destroys one’s relationship with another.  It involves issues with trust, and the loss of it, rooting from a fling or a long term affair. It puts both parties in pain and sorrow and possibly confusion too.  Many couples ask if their marriage ought to be saved or not amidst the incident of infidelity.  The question here is: does saving the marriage pave the way for a better relationship or will it just spark more pain and sorrow?

If the affair is ongoing, then you should first stop and think about what you are going to do rather than immediately stepping in and trying to stop the affair. Sometimes, irrationality kicks in which causes more problems in the relationship because emotions get in the way of clear thinking on what to do about the incident of infidelity.  Confronting your partner must only happen if you yourself have thought about what to say and what to do without doing anything hurtful to your relationship. A scandalous scene is not acceptable because it can only further aggravate the situation.  Surviving infidelity will ask calmness from an individual rather than impulsive decision.

After discussing the incident of infidelity with your partner, you both ought need to get some space. It may take a day or two, sometimes weeks, so that you can ponder on what to do with your marriage. Time is needed by both parties to be able to make a sound decision for themselves, for their marriage, and for their children, if there are any.  Again, when you decide to face each other again and talk, calmness and rational thinking must be called to order.

In surviving infidelity, openness is needed. A couple must be open to each other regarding their thoughts, feelings and opinions about each other and everything else so that trust can be built back up again.  It can be challenging not to think ill thoughts about the other after the incident of infidelity, however, effort must be made to be able to restore the good relationship that you once had.

There should also be a discussion on what really went wrong in your marriage that may have caused infidelity. If you have identified this, surviving infidelity may be easier because you have now pinpointed a reason that caused the disaster and you can change or avoid that in the future. If as a couple you cannot handle the whole situation, seek the help of a counsellor to help you in your journey of surviving infidelity.