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Is my spouse cheating?

Don't Guess.

Who‘s a Cheater

How to catch a Player or Cheater

Do you think your man is cheating on you? Don’t let him get away with it. Cheating men always leave signs. We have compiled a list of the most common cheating men signs. Use them to your advantage and don’t let him get away with it!

Also, there are many websites out there such as, www.Ashleymadison.com andwww.adultfriendfinder.comwho specialize in promoting discrete affairs between married and committed people. Make sure your husband or boyfriend is not advertising on these sites! Some other sites he may be frequentingarewww.theeroticreview.com, which is the internet's largest escort site, in addition to bigdoggie.net. This is another easy way for your man to cheat without you ever knowing.

Before you read the below information, please note one of the easiest way to "Catch a Cheater" is to set a trap. 99.9% of the time, cheating men will cheat when their partner is out of town or when the cheater is traveling. Tell your partner you are leaving for the weekend and then wait and watch. If he doesn't come home all night, he could be at another woman's house or a hotel, in which case you would have to follow him. Otherwise, he may bring her to his or "your" house. Remember the old saying...."when the cat's away, the mouse will play." It's very true.

**This is one of my most favorite ways of catching a cheater besides a computer key logger. Placing a long recording, voice-activated digital tape recorder will allow you to hear all of your partners phoneandin-car conversations. Make sure you hide it well. I have known MANY women who have caught their partners this way. It's quick, easy and much cheaper than hiring a detective.

Putting aTrack Stick GPS tracking device in your partner's car also works but they can be pricey. Usually the costabout $249.00 but they are no larger than a pack of gum and will track anywhere his automobile goes. Do a search on Google.

Lie detector test have become affordable and available in most major cities. Write down 10 "yes" or "no" questions and ask your partner to take one. They are fairly accurate but I would not rely soley on this method.

Set your partner up by placing a fake profile on-line and see if he takes the bait or get one of your girlfriends to hit on him with a recording device in her purse.

If your partner is computer savy and you don't feel secure installing a key logger, consider an external attachment which you can find at keyghost.com for about US$89.

If you have exhausted all other means of catching your partner, you can fake that you know information. For example, you could say something like "I know what you've been up to and I am going to give you the opportunity to tell me the truth now. However, if you lie to me, it will make things ten times worse." Act like you have proof, act serious, and give him overnight to "think about it." Many men will lie to the very end but if you are a good enough actress, you may get the information you are looking for.

NEVER accuse your partner of cheating unless you have concrete proof because the majority will lie to not get caught and simply cover their tracks better.

A woman's gut instinct is rarely wrong, so listen to it. Women also seem to be born detectives.

Good luck.

Cheating Men Signs

  • Discovery of a post office box. 
  • The toilet bowl seat is up, (men) and when you left home it was down. 
  • The passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position. 
  • Unaccounted for hairs of a different color on clothing. 
  • Cigarette smoke on clothing that can’t be explained. 
  • Clothes smell of perfume, massage oil residue and/or sex or have make-up stains and/or lipstick smudges. 
  • Needs a pager, cellular phone. Turns off phone when he's with you. Goes outside or to another room when making calls. 
  • Secretion stains on underwear.
  • Check wallets and/or the car glove compartments to see if they left receipts, match books, condoms, pieces of paper with phone numbers, notes, addresses, etc. 
  • Paper trails: Phone bills and habits of Cheaters
  • Unexplained, repetitive charges on mobile phone bill. Often these will be made right after leaving home in the morning and right before coming home in the evening. A cellular phone bill is one of the best ways to catch cheating men because the bill lists every single call made (unlike a bill for conventional phone services, which list only long distance charges). If you suspect your partner is cheating, and they don't have a cell phone, it wouldn't be a bad idea to buy them one.
  • Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration.
  • Cell phone calls are not returned in timely fashion.
  • Home phone and calling card records containing calls with long duration.
  • An unusual number of hang ups or wrong number calls.
  • Leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone.
  • Hangs up suddenly when you walk in the room. 
  • Cheating man has suspicious phone voice-mail messages.
  • Cheating man has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed.
  • Cheating man has suspicious pager messages.
  • Receives text messages in the middle of the night.
  • Unknown numbers stored in memory.
  • When a cheating man picks up the phone they whisper or tell the person they will call back later.

Computer usage

Most men who are having affairs or seeing escorts wipe out the information from their hard drive with programs like Window Washer which makes them more difficult to catch, but not impossible. Key logger software programs can catch anyone.

Some cheating signs to watch for are:

  • Uses computer alone and secretly with a demand for privacy - If someone begins cheating, whether on-line or in real life, they'll often go to great lengths to hide the truth from their partner. The computer may be moved from a visible den to a locked office. Try to keep your computer in a public area at home where you can monitor your partner's internet activity.
  • Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites. This is an easy way to catch a cheater unless they clear their cache (memory) often or use a software to clean it.
  • Frequent visits to Internet free e-mail accounts to cover their tracks. (i.e., hotmail, msn, yahoo, gmail, etc…)
  • Uncommon e-mail messages or deleted e-mail messages.
  • Cheater is preoccupied with on-line chatting, more distant emotionally, spending an excessive amount of time in the on-line chat rooms.
  • Excessive internet usage especially late at night.
  • Talk to your partner about their views on "cybersex,” online pornography and the legitimacy of "online adultery".
  • If interrupted when online, the cheater may react with anger or defensiveness.
  • Cheaters quickly close programs when you enter the room.
  • Sleep patterns change - Chat rooms and meeting places for cybersex don't heat up until late at night, so the cheating husbands or boyfriends tend to stay up later. Often, the partner suddenly begins coming to bed in the early-morning hours or may get out of bed earlier for a pre-work e-mail exchange with a new romantic partner.
  • Loss of interest in sex- Some cyber affairs evolve into phone sex or an actual rendezvous, but cybersex alone often includes mutual masturbation from the confines of each person's computer room. When a cheating man suddenly shows a lesser interest in sex, it may be an indicator that he or she has found another sexual outlet. If sexual relations continue in the relationship at all, the cheating partner may be less enthusiastic, energetic, and responsive to you and your lovemaking.

Finance clues 

  • Credit card bills containing unusual gifts, travel, restaurant and unusual/unknown charges.
  • Cosmetic, perfume or lipstick purchases listed but not received.
  • Florist or jewelry bills.
  • Income tax returns revealing unexplained travel and business expense deductions.
  • Unexplained payments on bank statements.
  • Cheating man has more cash on hand without accountability.
  • Cheating man has unexplained receipts in wallet, car glovecompartment or office desk.
  • Discovering the recent opening of another checking account.
  • Unexplained withdrawals from checking account.
  • Increase in ATM withdrawals. Check the transaction record to determine the withdrawal location, time and date. Watch for areas that are an unexplained distance from the ATM withdrawal.
  • Time and Date - ATM withdrawal is recorded at a time when the spouse should be elsewhere, such as at work.
  • Credit card gas purchases inconsistent for the amount of miles driven on the car.
  • Gas credit cards containing uncommon locations of gas stations.
  • Car mileage clues
  • Cheating men’s driving pattern may change. You may find the car needs gas more often or you may monitor the car's odometer and find the cheater is putting a lot of unexplained miles on the car.
  • Monitor your partner for two weeks. During this time keep track of the mileage on their car. Monitor the time they leave for work and the time they come home. By keeping a calendar and noting the times, this should help you establish a pattern. If your mate claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify this overtime.
  • Your partner explains a late return home as a result of having to drive out of town on business, but yet the mileage on the car indicates less than ten mile driven.

Behavioral changes

  • Joins a health gym or weight reduction clinic.
  • Tanning salon visits.
  • New hairstyle.
  • Wears hair spray, colognes & perfumes more often.
  • Excessive buying of new and different clothes.
  • Gets laundry done independently.
  • Buys sexy underwear or lingerie.
  • More frequent bathing and more careful grooming.
  • An unexplained indifference or aloofness in the relationship.
  • Spontaneous plans or events that do not include you.
  • Cheater is often distracted and daydreaming.
  • Asks about your schedule more often than usual.
  • Viagra usage increases.
  • Cheater pays less attention to you.
  • Cheater shuns things like shared baths, talking over the dishes after dinner, or renting a video on Saturday night.
  • Cheater doesn’t get as excited about taking vacations together and avoids talking about long-range relationship plans.
  • Cheaters are having their fun with someone else, and their thoughts of the future revolve around fantasies of running off with their affair.
  • Cheater spends unaccounted time away from home.
  • Cheater may have a change in sexuality (i.e., more sex, less sex) as well as unexplained sexual requests.
  • Your partner comes home late and you feel like "being romantic" and they tell you they are too tired.
  • Your partner becomes defensive during normal conversations.
  • Household chores ignored - When an internet user increases time on-line, household chores often go undone.
  • Cheaters often lose interest in domestic activities, such as spending time with the kids, fixing up the house, lawn care, etc.
  • Cheater starts bringing you flowers and acts especially nice or cheater doesn't bring you flowers anymore and acts especially mean.
  • At the beginning of an affair, the cheater may actually be more affectionate than usual due to guilt feelings.
  • After the affair has been going on for a while, the cheater often starts finding fault with the partner as a defensive mechanism (i.e., to justify the affair in their mind).
  • Cheater's relationship with you will almost always change. They become more distant, fault-finding or blame you for their behavior.
  • Your cheating partner tells you he just hired a new assistant and that she's not very pretty. However, when you meet her for the first time, she's absolutely gorgeous. If your partner isn't cheating, or thinking about it, he wouldn't lie to you about her looks.

Work habit clues

  • Coming home later than usual. Excuses of working late or hanging around with buddies after work.
  • Cheating men are often unavailable at work.
  • Cheater attends more work functions alone.
  • Abnormal work hours.

Tips to catch a cheater

  • Set them up in a bar or gym or place they frequent by using one of your friends as prey.
  • Press the re-dial on the phone or *69. This is an effective way to find out who they’ve been calling.
  • If you suspect that your partner is involved in an online affair or excessive usage of internet pornography, monitor their online activity using the latest technology available. There are many software applications that record every keystroke on your computer without slowing it down or changing its performance.
  • Be aware of any close platonic relationships. Most friends will not approve of the cheater's ways but will cover for them. Some friends will actually help the cheater by providing an alibi for the cheater. The cheater's friend will assist the cheater out of loyalty stemming from a friendship.
  • If you suspect the cheater is actually cheating at home while you're away, make false plans to be away one weekend and stay at a local hotel. Park down the street from your residence, then watch and wait. Have a non-violent plan as to what you intend to do if your suspicions are confirmed.

**IMPORTANT NOTE: The cheating man must NOT know that you suspect him/her. Although it is difficult, you must still treat the cheater the same way as you did prior to suspecting him/her of cheating. Give the cheater plenty of room to hang himself/herself.

Source: http://www.womansavers.com/catch-a-cheater.asp