Who‘s a Cheater
They Cheated Is it my fault
What if I was thinner? What if I made more money? What if I was better in bed? I had these thoughts of self doubt and many more, after my wife cheated and I have heard them again and again from the people that write to me. Don't let their infidelity, ruin your self-esteem.
First and foremost, there is NO excuse for cheating! It is as simple as that. If someone is unhappy in their relationship, they should try and fix it or they should leave. Infidelity is never the answer for any question in a relationship. It is not your fault that someone chooses to cheat.
It was easier for me to recover my self worth than most because my wife had left suddenly and permanently, without any chance for reconciliation. I believe it is much more difficult to keep up your self esteem, if you are trying to save your relationship after infidelity by a trusted partner takes place.
Usually the first reaction from a cheater after they get caught is a defensive one. If you used monitoring software on their PC or discovered a strange phone number in their wallet or purse, they will typically blame you for invading their privacy.
Another common response from the cheater is to say "Well, if you were (this way), then I wouldn't have needed to go looking". Just another loaded line designed to make themselves feel somehow justified in what they did. Don't buy into it. Like one woman who wrote to me, "I don't feel comfortable doing the things he asks of me in the bedroom, but I feel I should, if I don't want him to cheat again". This type of response gives the cheater the upper hand, by making it appear that YOU are the guilty party and themselves the victim. It also opens the door for them to use infidelity again in the future for something else they want from you.
I hope that these articles on improving your self-esteem will help you see how great a person you really are. Because, after all, we are ALL Gods children.